


If You're Gonna Jump

by mas0094



Category: ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Drowning, Gen, M/M, Suicide, a hell of a lot of dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24857413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mas0094/pseuds/mas0094
Summary: "I decided life isn't worth anything if everyone thinks I'm a horrible person. It's selfish to stay alive if nobody wants you here, you know. So just think of what I'm doing as a favor."
Relationships: Kang Hyungu/Son Dongmyeong (kind of)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	If You're Gonna Jump

Dongmyeong looked hopefully over the railing of the bridge. Hopefully? Or dreadfully? He couldn't decide. His sweating palms slipped along the cold metal, his shaking fingers feebly grasping at whatever they could manage to hold on to. 

He found himself at this bridge often. It was the bridge he was riding his bike along on his way to his first day attending a shiny new highschool. It was the bridge his first boyfriend--ex boyfriend now, actually--had asked him out on. The bridge he has his first kiss on. Dongmyeong had a lot of firsts on this bridge. It was special to him; he sought comfort in it, went to it to clear his head. Although now, he found himself leaning against the edge, racking his brain for any worthwhile final thoughts, for he decided he would kill himself that night.

Icy gusts of air entered the atmosphere as he exhaled. Dongmyeong raised a hand up to his burgundy locks, raking them out of his eyes. He grasped the railing once again, this time applying force upon his forearms, lifting himself off the ground. He swung his legs around the railing and pushed himself to sit on the edge of the bridge. His phone crashed onto the concrete in the process, but Dongmyeong didn't mind. What was he gonna do with a cell phone in Hell anyway? He doubted the Devil provided service benefits for sinners. Chuckling at the oh-so-clever reason behind his disreguard, the boy looked left and right, double checking his surroundings before deciding to plummet to his death. Deeming himself alone, Dongmyeong took one last deep breath.

"Hey, wait, what are you doing man?"

"What the fuck.." Dongmyeong thought.

Rule number one of assessing your surroundings: always remember to check behind you as well.

"Are you okay?" the concerned voice called out again.

Dongmyeong turned around, cocking an eyebrow at the stranger. He hoped to show he was totally pissed at whoever was interrupting his very important task; however, the poor guy had a history of looking more like a confused puppy than an angry muscle man. This time around was clearly no different, as the tall silhouette made its way to the other end of the bridge.

"Ack, what do you want?" Dongmyeong whined

"I wanna know why you're about to kill yourself."

Who is this guy, a social worker?

"Uh....."

Dongmyeong felt the presence of the man next to him before he saw him. Picking at the skin around his fingernails, he attempted to avoid any and all potential contact with the weirdo.

"You know, I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me" He declared.

"Well what are you gonna do if I jump, huh?" Dongmyeong questioned

The man went silent.

"Why do you even want to know?" Dongmyeong mumbled, an almost hurt tone obviously lingering within his words.

"Why not? Tell me everything. What's troubling you this much, kid?" 

He paused; should he really waste his time spilling his life story to this guy? Then again...what did he have to lose?

"Can I get your name?" Dongmyeong began.

"Jin Yonghoon" The man nodded.

"Ah..Son Dongmyeong. I guess I could use someone to talk to...."

"I'm all ears" Yonghoon insisted.

Taking a deep breath, Dongmyeong collected his words and began telling his story.

"It's stupid, really, but my boyfriend--ex, now--always thought I was..kind of rude? I mean, I guess I can be a little real at times, but he still loved me. Anyway, he made this new friend. Said friend was kind of stupid. Stupid as in like, too nice kind of stupid. He was sensitive and quiet and it pissed me off because Hyungu was stoked that he even existed; it's like all the annoying quirks that kid had were his kinks or something. Oh, Hyungu is my ex, by the way. God, this really is stupid, I sound like im mad at this kid for being a better person than me." 

"Well, why were you mad at him?" Yonghoon pushed.

Dongmyeong rolled his eyes.

"He took my Hyungu away from me."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"Well, no," Dongmyeong began, "but he broke up with me because of the other kid. His name's Kiwook. I never really talked to Kiwook. I would ignore him if he talked to me. Hyungu said that was a dick move, but isn't it better if I don't talk to him to avoid insulting him? I also kind of left wherever I was if he came. You know, to not instigate anything or whatever."

Yonghoon nodded. Dongmyeong could see the gears shifting in his head, but couldn't tell if the factory was in favor of his argument or not.

"One day Kiwook called me over to him and apologized. I didn't know what he was apologizing for, since I never gave him the chance to do anything to me. Well, he did ruin my love life, but that was indirectly. I just kind of stood there for a while, then asked why. His face and voice pissed me off too. He went 'I'm sorry for whatever I did to upset you. I didn't mean to.' in that dumb fucking tiny voice he's got. I just nodded and walked right past him. Who the hell apologizes for 'whatever they did?'"

He bent his fingers to signify quotation marks upon saying the last three words.

"I guess he told Hyungu or some shit, because he got increasingly mad at me."

"Well, did you ever try to talk to Hyungu about that? Tell him that you were upset he was spending less time with you? Communication is the key to a relationship, you know." Yonghoon said.

"See the thing is, I did! I tried so many times!!" Dongmyeong's voice raised.

Yonghoon looked anxiously around, hoping nobody in the surrounding area would pop out and wonder what two guys were doing, yelling on a bridge at three in the morning.

"I tried to explain it to him. I told him I felt like he replaced me. All he did was say that I was being insecure and that he's allowed to talk to whoever he wants. He didn't even try to understand where I was coming from. I gave up after that. I avoided him a bit, let him do whatever he wanted with Kiwook. I decided it was better to just wait for him to finally lose interest in me and break up with me so I'd never have to see him or Kiwook ever again." Dongmyeong continued.

"Did that work?" 

Dongmyeong went silent, pushing back his hair once more. He took a deep breath, exhailing the air in a small stream softly over the skin of his thumb, presumably in attempt to calm his nerves. Yonghoon noticed his breath was shaky. Unstable. He noticed Dongmyeong was beginning to break down.

"One day I went up to him and told him to break up with me. I yelled right in his face. 'Why haven't you broken up with me yet? Why do you keep me around if you hate me so much?'" he sobbed out.

Tears came pouring out of Dongmyeong's eyes. He tried to wipe them quickly, but deemed that useless every time the fingers he brought up to his eyes became dampened once more. He threw his head back, letting out a distressed wail. Yonghoon raised a hand to Dongmyeong's shoulder, signifying that it was okay. He was there for him.

"That's right, let it out." He whispered condescending words into the shaking boy's ear.

"He's such a fucking idiot." Dongmyeong yelled. "All he did was stand there with this dumb look on his face and go 'huh?' It made me so angry I didn't even want to try to explain it. I just ran. I ran home. I went home and I cried like a child for an hour. An hour!! Over some stupid boy!! God I'm absolutely pitiful."

If Yonghoon were being honest, he couldn't completely understand what it was about this whole situation that made this younger boy so deadset on ending his life. In fact, he thought it was pretty idiotic. However, he was in no place to judge. Having dealt with his own demons in the past, he knew depression comes with a state of vulnerability. Even the smallest of inconveniences can make it seem like your world is crumbling. Like there's nothing to live for. Yonghoon could hardly even deal with such a feeling within his own mind; he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to help the poor soul beside him.

"I guess I'll wrap it up here," Dongmyeong began once again. "He sent me a few paragraphs explaining in detail why I was the essentially the bitchiest asshole on earth and that he was breaking up with me. Alright, I thought. I cried some more. Evaluated what exactly I had to live for now that my only love in the world--my Hyungu--hated my guts."

One last shaking sigh exited Dongmyeong's body.

"I decided life isn't worth anything if everyone thinks I'm a horrible person. It's selfish to stay alive if nobody wants you here, you know. So just think of what I'm doing as a favor."

Yonghoon knew all too well what he meant. He realized it was about time for him to give his input, now that Dongmyeong's sob story was brought to a conclusion.

"Damn"

"...Is that all you have to say?" Dongmyeong scoffed.

Yonghoon went silent.

"I'm not sure im the right person to give you any sort of advice, but let me tell you something kid. I told you I'd be here for you, so whatever you do I do. Answer me this; even if I attempt to console you, are you still going to kill yourself?"

The atmosphere shifted quickly. The air became cold and thin. Dongmyeong could feel any warmth given by his new companion begin to be sucked right out of his veins.

"Are you...asking if I'm even worth your time?" Dongmyeong inquired in near disbelief--as if he wasn't used to people doubting him by now.

"No, no. I'm asking you if you'd like to go with me." Yonghoon responded.

"What? I'm not sure what you're asking dude...are you drunk?" 

Dongmyeong's confusion slowly faded as he realized what the older boy's initial intentions were.

"Yonghoon....why were you at this bridge in the first place?"

All he gave was a pitiful smile back.

Yonghoon took Dongmyeong's smaller, colder hand into his own.

"If you're gonna jump, let me smile and jump with you."

Dongmyeong couldn't believe what he was hearing. How could this stranger sit here for an hour listening to his long ass lament, pretend to care the entire time, then just say 'alright cool, do you want to kill yourself with me?' It almost made him want to live out of spite, just so one day he could go back and punch this asshole in the face.

Then again...why would he want to live? He has nobody.

Nobody wants him.

"Oh.....okay..."

Yonghoon seemed pleased enough by the others half-consent. He leaned forward, tugging on Dongmyeong's arm in attempt to bring the two of them to their feet at once. Dongmyeong obliged, looking up at Yonghoon for some sort of cue.

"Well. I guess we just go for it." 

"Yeah.."

And so they fell, hand in hand, into the vast body of water below them; finally putting their tired minds to rest. Even drowning doesn't feel as agonizing when you have someone to hold on to.

Sometimes all you need is someone to hold on to.

**Author's Note:**

> whew this is...kinda out of character? id be lying if i said i had any motivation to get this done over the past month that ive been procrastinating it, but hey--at least its something.


End file.
